The One With All the Mom Things

In motherhood, watching your child is like watching a direct reflection of yourself. And sometimes (a lot) it's just plain ugly. I learn more about myself through my child these days and honestly it's like a glass of cold water straight to the face.

You know when you see a screaming child? You know the one. With nothing wrong, not hungry, not thirsty, clean diaper or pull up, no boo boos. Just screaming. And then there is the parent that's all "I don't know why she acts like this!" I hate that parent. I am also that parent. BECAUSE we are the reason our toddler is lying on the grocery store floor yelling "NO HOLD HAND MOMMY! NO HOLD HAAAAAAAAAND!" I mean, Hello! Where do you think they learned this behavior? Could it be they've witnessed it before? Like when we've had a bad day as moms and we're all bitchy and snappy and whiny and at the end of our fucking rope and"Just stop touching EVERYTHING DAMMIT!" or "Give that to me NOW!" And then two days later you have a sassy little human all "Give it to me NOW, MOM-EEEE!" over her cup or "Dammit." after she poops in her pull up 5 seconds after you've changed her.

It's in these moments I want to step out of myself and then shake myself and say "WOMAN! She did not learn these things at school. Or on the TV. Or at her dad's. Okay maybe a little at her dad's but still, WOMAN! Take a look at what you're saying and what you're doing. Have you not realized yet that your kid is just doing what she sees you do?" I think sometimes we forget just how impressionable our children are. And how they're emotional outbursts are a direct reflection of what they've seen the adults in their life react to different situations. I for one am awful at hiding my emotions, I am also equally as awful at my communication skills. I forget my two year old does not understand my hand signals or that me asking her eleventy billion times to do something is really fucking irritating to me. She doesn't understand that mommy is stressed or sad or tired or sick. And she shouldn't really have to.

I truly believe that parents want to raise their littles to become polite, sweet, smart, happy people who will grow to become successful and productive humans who don't poop in their pants anymore. So, the next time we demand something from our kid's little hands "right NOW!" or we slam a door because we're pissed off or burst into tears because it's been a really long day and I just want to go to bed and forget it all already, remember our goal, remember the sweet little faces of our kids and stick a "please" at the end of that "right now" or take a deep breath and remind yourself nothing could possibly be that bad to display negative actions or emotions in front of your kid.

Also, cherish all the adorable things your kids do because of things they've seen you do. I mean come on, we can't be doing it all wrong all the time. Right? Right. Like when I'm all bitchy and pissed off and my little one looks at me and gives me the biggest sweetest smile and then gives me a "BIG HUG!" I know she's learned that from me too.